INSTITUTO EVANGÉLICO BEM DO BRASIL

What is Disappointment?

Desapontamento

Male noun condition of those who were disappointed; who did not have their wishes and/or expectations fulfilled; disappointment or disillusion. Circumstance or situation that causes disappointment: the result of the game was a huge disappointment.

What is Disappointment in the Bible?

The Bible is full of stories of disappointments between people and even between people and God.

Interhuman disappointments

Here are some of the disappointments that have marked the lives of many people.

  1. Hagar loved Abraham, even giving him a son. However, at the instigation of his wife, Sara, he separated from Hagar, driving her out of his house. In the middle of the desert, where she had to flee with his youngest son, Hagar wept and prayed a lot. God saw her pain and made her a new woman (Genesis 21:9-21).
  2. Samuel was a prophet, priest and judge who did everything for his people. Even so, after so many services rendered, the Israelites asked him to choose a king, other than him, or his children. The request left him enormously disappointed. The words with which they wanted to discard their leader was painful: See, you are already old, and your children are not walking in your ways; therefore make us a king over us now, that he may rule over us, as they all have. the nations. God comforted him, saying that it was not him whom the people rejected, but God Himself (1 Samuel 8:4-22).
  3. After a military victory, David returned home to share his joy. The king returned dancing before God and in the presence of men and women. Out of jealousy, his wife publicly rebuked him. The disappointment was mutual; his wife, Michal, was disappointed because of jealousy; David was disappointed because of her lack of understanding. The two parted (2 Samuel 6:14-23).
  4. At the beginning of Christianity, Paul and Peter became involved in a theological dispute, which ended with an agreement, sealed before many witnesses and in writing, that preserved the unity of the Church in the Holy Spirit. However, some time later, the apostle Peter disappointed the apostle Paul when, in front of his Jewish audience, he adopted a behavior contrary to what had been agreed, perhaps in search of the audience's applause (Galatians 2:11).
  5. Paul had many helpers. Some of them, such as Figelo and Hermógenes (2 Timothy 1.15), Demas (2 Timothy 4.10) and John Mark (Acts 15.37) abandoned him, inflicting much suffering on the apostle.

Disappointments of man with God

The Bible also records stories of disappointments with God, which had tragic ends.

  1. Cain worshiped God, which was not accepted, because of the illegitimate purpose he had in doing it. Still, he was disappointed in God. As he could not kill Him, he murdered his brother (Genesis 4.1.16).
  2. Jonah was disappointed in God, because God called him to preach to a people who were the enemies of Israel. After trying to escape, he ended up preaching to those people who, to his disappointment, accepted his message. Even after being corrected by God, he preferred to enjoy his disappointment (With that, Jonas was extremely disgusted and was angry [resentful, in another version] instead of changing his attitude).
  3. The disciple Judas wished his Master, Jesus, to be the political Messiah that he and many others wanted. As Jesus was the Messiah he did not expect, he betrayed Him by handing Him over to the Jewish political police for 30 silver coins, enough money to buy his own land to house his cemetery (Matthew 27:7). His public kiss sealed his disappointment, which ended with a rope around his neck (Matthew 26:47-50; 27:3-5).

The disappointments of these men and women help us to make an anatomy of our own disappointments.

Why are we disappointed?

Only people who relate to people are disappointed with people. Those who do not want to be disappointed should not relate, but this hypothesis is not possible. There is no way to reduce our relationships to zero.
Instead of running away from people, we need to learn how to relate to them and see how we have behaved. Let us start by asking: why are we disappointed?

  1. We have a wrong view of human nature
    We are disappointed because we have a wrong view of human nature, by forgetting that disappointing is the human condition. We must remember that there is no good in us.
    Remembering the Biblical teaching about sins helps us to live better. There is a law (a typical behavior) in me that produces the following characteristic: When I want to do good, evil lies close at hand (Romans 7:21). The reason for this is that all [human beings] have turned aside, together they have gone wrong; no one does good, not even one. (Romans 3:12). However harsh this truth is, this is the truth.
    For this reason, God teaches us to relate to men, but not to trust them. Jeremiah's challenge may not be politically correct, but it is correct on this level, in declaring: Thus says the Lord: "Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his arm, whose heart turns away from the LORD." (Jeremiah 17:5).
    We are disappointed because we have a wrong view of human nature, by forgetting that disappointing is the human condition. We must remember that there is no good in us.
    One of the disappointment-producing behaviors is the wrong expectation about others. It is easily explained: we all want to belong, we all want to relate. Sometimes, in fact, we want to be served or cuddled by people. In this path, we idealize people, we idealize relationships, we end up expecting too much from people, expecting from them what they cannot give. There are parents who expect too much from their children. There are children who expect too much from their parents. High expectations of the mother cause high frustration.
    We cannot expect our neighbor (even the closest) to supply what, by definition, he cannot supply.
    Let us relate, but do not always expect gratitude. Only ten percent of the people we help, help and love will help us, help us and love us. The sense of gratitude is a spiritual exception, not a natural behavior. When they returned only one of the ten lepers who had been healed, thanked Jesus. Jesus Who knew the human soul, showed his disciples what human nature is (Luke 17:17). After having served his people for years, Samuel expected recognition for his work. He did not expect to be dismissed as an old man. He did not expect his way of governing to be replaced by another. Samuel forgot what human nature is. Biblical wisdom, therefore, asks us to do good without looking at whom, as if we were doing good with our eyes closed, without seeing whom we serve, which is the only way to never be disappointed.
    Let us relate, but do not expect those who have something against us to come and talk to us, to seek understanding and, who knows, peace. This can happen, but the human standard is to condemn us without giving us the opportunity to defend ourselves.
    Let us relate, but do not expect those who have offended us to come to us for sincere forgiveness. This may even happen, but the human standard, at best, is an apologetic request, like, "oh, I did not mean to offend you, but if I did, I apologize." Either we offend or we do not offend, whether guilty or intentionally. There is no middle ground.
    If disappointment is a truth, it is also a truth that, despite it, we need to relate to. Refusing the other is not a valid option.
  2. We forget that we are capable of making the mistake that others make with us.
    There is something about us that needs care of. Part of our relational frustrations comes from mistakes that we make, not from others' mistakes towards us. We often find ourselves unable to make the mistake that the other made with us. We are always courteous. We are always grateful. We try to clarify the facts before judging others. This is what we think of ourselves, although others do not think the same thing.
    We need to remember that there is a Peter within us. Even though he was warned that he would, the future leader of the church of Christ denied Jesus three times in a short time. He was so disappointed in himself that he wept bitterly (Luke 26:75). There was much virtue in this cry, which could have been sublimated by an excuse. The pressure was too much and he could not take it. He did not deny it; it was just misunderstood. It also did not make any difference what he said.
    We must have the correct view of human nature, including to avoid self-deception. Agar, when she became pregnant, gloated over Sara, who was barren (Genesis 16:4). Sara could never have imagined that behavior on the part of her maid, but she had it, disappointing her. Therefore, when she was disappointed with Abraham and Sarah, she forgot what she herself had done.
    We are not perfect. We are Peter. We are Sara. We are Abraham. We are Hagar. Let us not forget that we are sometimes the agents of deception. Let us pray to God to give us discernment to see our own mistakes. The worst mistake is self-deception.
  3. Remember that we are not always really disappointed.
    We make mistakes in our judgments. Our disappointment is not always based on reality. Several times in his letters, the apostle Paul laments that some judged him for actions he did not take. Faced, for example, by the distrust of some Corinthians, he wrote: For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. (2 Corinthians 4:5). Just because he preached with authority and strongly condemned sin, some felt that Paul was going too far.
    On one occasion many people were disappointed with a certain person. His presence was announced on posters at a certain event in a city far from Rio de Janeiro and he did not attend, he knew nothing about it. It turns out that the person was never invited. He found out months later. In other words, he did not let anyone down. Those who found him and reported him, he was surprised. The others to this day must find him irresponsible.
    We are able to condemn people without checking their behavior.
    Sometimes a person is hurt by a word against or about it that has never been spoken (by him or her).
    We need to doubt our certainties.
  4. We must turn disappointment into a way back to God
    There is a positive side to disappointment; it is when it helps us to turn back to God as the One We can really trust. It reminds us of who the human being is; it reminds us of who we are; it introduces us Who is God.
    For this reason, we must always bear the warning of Jeremiah before us, which, by the way, finds an echo in the description of the poet in Psalm 1: Blessed is the man whose confidence is in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. It will be like a tree planted by the waters and extending its roots to the stream. It will not fear when the heat comes, because its leaves are always green; she will not be anxious in the drought year nor will she fail to bear fruit.

How to receive comfort in a disappointment through the Word of God?

Undoubtedly, going through a disappointment is not easy.

For this type of situation, we highlight the best Bible verses, which will surely help you to overcome any disappointment or hurt in your life. Meditate on the word of God and learn how to deal with disappointment, like these great verses from the Lord:

Psalm 34:18

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 30:5

For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.

Romans 8:28

We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.

1 Corinthians 16:13

Be watchful, stand firm in your faith, be courageous, be strong.

Deuteronomy 20:4

For the LORD your God is he that goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory.

God bless you!